Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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