ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need water and some morals
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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