these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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