the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Say something about gay babies.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
