I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
