She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My liver just had a heart attack.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
