Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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