the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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