He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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