And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
