So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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