let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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