I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize