I CAN MOONWALK!
there's paper in my vomit.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
