Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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