She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize