so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
