He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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