We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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