I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
