Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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