...so i touched it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
