Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A bitchslap is in order.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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