Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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