even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
