i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
