Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
