are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
