hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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