i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
