it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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