She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
