I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
