Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
