I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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