Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
