i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All the doctor said was why
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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