3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
