thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
