as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
