maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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