Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
