thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
FUCK WHALES
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
