It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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