That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize