nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
