One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
