He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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