It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
