Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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