You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
