i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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