my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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