I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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