I will die if light touches me.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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