i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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