It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
