fuck your aforementioned shoe
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
