he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
