i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
