the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
