I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
