I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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