i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also, beer. Big fan.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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