I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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