you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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