THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
